How to avoid a speeding ticket

And now for something completely different.

I was a window salesman in another life. Working day and night for “the man.”

Whatever. Anywhay.

It was pretty common for the boss to work me late. I mean late late. Like 10 pm, 11 pm, 1 am.

So I’m coming home one night. 1:30 am. Believe it or not, I was talking someone’s ear off trying to sell them some windows.

So it’s LAAAAAATE and I am tired as….tired.

I’m swerving inside my lane. A cop pulls up behind me. Gumballs flashing.

My name ain’t Luke or Bo, and I wasn’t drivin’ the General Lee, so I pulled over.

Cop says “where you comin’ from?”

I told him the truth (naturally).

He didn’t believe me.

Totally understandable.

I mean…I guess you see a guy swerving in his lane 1:30 am, the last thing you think is he just got off a sales call.

If I was the cop, I wouldn’t believe me.

But that be where I was.

So after a few rounds of this non-productive conversation he looks at me, pauses…

“Alright Mr. Lewis turn the engine off and get out of the car.”

Awe shyte.

So now I’m doing a sobriety test on the side of the road.

At this point, I think I should mention…

…I’m dressed in a suit, complete with a fancy tie.

And it’s about 30 degrees outside.

And those dress pants aren’t insulated.

Anywhoo, after the cop was (reluctantly) satisfied that I could tie my shoes, say my ABCs, and walk without falling down, he lets me go.

Moral of the story?

Stay in pre-school kids. Might come in handy some day.

No. no. There was a point to this story…

You want to avoid gettig a ticket? Don’t drive drunk. Also, dress nicely. At the very least, the cop will address you as “sir.”

Ok. ‘Nuff of this. On to bid-naz.

If you want to have some money when you get old and gray, don’t let it drive drunk either.

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David Lewis

This post brought to you by //The Rogue Agent//. David has been a life insurance agent, and worked with some of the oldest and most respected mutual life insurance companies in the U.S., since 2004. Learn more about him and his business, here.